Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a tricky thing. The more you need it, the more you want it, but the less you want to give it.

Being a victim can bring power if the one who hurt you has a conscience. That's one reason why many people allow themselves to be victimized. They take the moral high ground over their tormentor. If he ever reflects properly on his actions, he will be guilt stricken, and a the victim will hold power over his self esteem. (Not to mention the attention and vindication we receive as victims!)

But power is not all that is involved when we are hurt. If power is what drives us as victims, then we are no better then our aggressors. What we really need is peace. Forgiveness brings peace because it equals out the power. The person with the moral power elects to relinquish that power and restore the balance in the relationship. It removes the anger of the victim, the guilt of the aggressor, the separation between two people. Forgiveness restores the relationship, and reconciles two people. But it requires the victim to lay down what little power they feel they have over the person who hurt them. No wonder we don't want to give it even when it is the things that will heal us the most. No wonder we want it so bad when we have hurt others.

I am convinced that forgiveness is only possible through Jesus Christ. There are two reasons. First is that I don't think that any human is fully capable of giving up our power voluntarily. We will always hurt people, and we will never fully heal over our wounds. At this rate we will always be worse off over time in our relationships with people. The second reason is that every time we offend somebody we also offend God, and we rarely say 'sorry' to him and seek his forgiveness. Jesus provided forgiveness to us through his death and resurrection. He removed God's anger, paid for our deficit, wiped the slate clean, restored our relationship. He condescended to forgive us. Now we should forgive others likewise, even if it is a tricky thing to do.